Unrequited love

Unrequited love. Does it really exist? Or maybe its just another way to hurt yourself more, to delude yourself, and help to see ourselves as tragic heroes or heroines in our mind's eye. No doubt, it hurts, but as a question once put up by my darling ex, "Is it really love if its one sided?" Now, as prone as I am to disagree with whatever he says, but for once, he actually had a point. Love, as we know it, has to be from both sides. One sided love is either a crush, or a major infatuation.

Going through the same motions as my topic suggests for about a year, I think I know a decent amount on the subject. It's a time when you carefully look for signs that the other person loves you, and sometimes if you dont find them, you create them. You wish so hard, that at times you actually start believing your wishes.

One sided love, most of the times, ends in a heartbreak. Almost all the people going through these feelings undergo a period of extreme hatred followed by a mellowing down of emotions. With time, we learn to laugh about it, but the hurt takes a long time to go away. The best thing that one can do in such a situation is to accept the facts and move on. I know it seems really hard at first, but hey, you gotta do it sometime.

One of the WORST things you can do is be "best friends" with the person you love. Who are you fooling, there is nothing "friendly" about the way you feel about him/her. Trust me, doesnt work. If anything, hurts more, and the person you love, starts taking you for granted. Been there, done that buddy. Distancing yourself is the only thing that helps, provided you have enough things to hide behind and an awesome friend system. Its important to feel comfortable and warm, and to understand that life can function normally, even without that person.

So, my friends, stay away from unrequited love, because in the end, the only person getting hurt is you.

Is love enough?

The last time, I talked about love, and what it meant for me and a few others. But this time, lets talk in continuation to that, is love enough? We love a lot of people, and say I love you, without really meaning it. But lets ignore all the times you said "I love you, man" to someone for getting you a cup of coffee. Lets talk about the times you really mean it, and love someone with all your heart. Is it enough to sustain a relationship? Is it right that every time one goofs up, you say "I love you" and hope everything will be fine again?

There is no set answer to this question, no correct answer. Like everything related with love, it is subjective, and means different things for different people. And as usual, I speak just for me when I say, no, it isn't enough. Yes, loving is a huge part of a relationship, integral even, but is it every thing? Nope. Respect for one another, listening to one another, trusting one another, and even liking one another is a major part of any relationship. Ofcourse, many of you might say that when you love a person all this comes naturally, but many a times it doesn't. We need to work for it. And, I'm sure all of you agree, that when we love a person, we accept him/her WITH his faults. But do you agree with his faults? Does it make those faults more appealing to you? I doubt. Ofcourse, you dont mind them in your partner, but do you not mind them in the world? Yes, maybe you do.

Love binds us, but it takes a lot of work to hold a relationship together. So yeah, at the risk of sounding like a debate, love isnt enough, not until coupled with respect and understanding, with a little sprinkling of the ability to listen.

P.S. This idea was conceived of my Chirag Jain, my awesome friend, and I just embroidered it a bit. I dont intend to steal, no way. :P

love, and its definitions.

Come, let me tell you a little secret. Tofu, is in love with a boy. But, what is love? Is it staying up nights talking and giggling just because you want to? Or is it helping him out with his project, because you want the best for him? Or probably it is waiting for his phonecall, and missing him all the time you arent talking to him or texting him. Or maybe, its none of this, and its an illusion created by marketeers to sell more chocolate ice-creams. :P

To me, love is trust, faith, unconditional belief in a person, which gets shaken only with some difficulty. Now, I agree, most people view love differently, and maybe they're right. Love is subjective, after all.

So, whatever maybe the definition of love to her, and whether her love believes it or not, she loves him. Unconditionally, the way a puppy loves his master. And she will continue loving him long after he is gone. Left her, not dead, that is. :P

Love, is unexplainable.

Hurting, at times. :P

Someone once said, " The only people who can hurt you are the people you give that power to". I had honestly thought whatever power I had given to you, was taken back, but no, you still have the power to hurt me even when you dont try. Things arent the same again, the way they were in 11th grade. My entire friend circle has changed, if I have one anymore, that is. xD People have started drifting apart, or maybe its just me. But, whatever be the case, I'm just not friends with the same people anymore. And it hurts, at times, but then again, I'm to blame, for most things.

I try to be good. A good student, debater, quizzer, friend, girlfriend, daughter and a good human being. But lately, all this has been getting to me. "Its too much!", my mind says in a whiny little voice, reminiscent of a certain someone. :P

I've stayed up nights, talking to you about YOUR dreams, YOUR goals, trying to be your support throughout. But probably it would have helped if I were a bitch to you, and hotter, probably. Maybe, that would get you to run behind me the way you do to her. I've done a lot in the past year, and I'm done. Finished. I just cant run behind people anymore. I'm tired. I just, want someone to look after me for a change. And god knows I have found that person. I'm just, not going to leave him now.

So life is mixed my friends, for one good thing, at times you have to give up a lot of others, which turns out to be bad.

But then, that is life.