Coming soon.

Not much to do, other than sit around and twiddle my thumbs. There's the theatre class, but THAT doesnt count, does it? :P

Sitting, watching Tv, and suddenly it strikes me that things perhaps wont EVER be the same again. No more "OMG its 6 have to make tea", and strangely, that brings a tear to my eye.

Sundays, no longer the same schedule. Lord knows what my schedule would be? No more special Sunday morning breakfasts, the dragging myself to study because I should, and running out to see TV all afternoon. And the more I think about it, the more it scares me. After all, its the unknown that is the scariest of it all, right? 

But the biggest thing that continues to scare the HELL out of me is how I'd manage without my baby. Or maybe I wont have to manage without him? I dont know. I wish we could have a perfect Sunday to us, just to us. Our day, when we would be able to give the other all the time that we deserve. THAT is what Sundays are supposed to be about, right?

But look at me there, I am rambling. Perhaps Salman Rushdie is rubbing off on me, yeah? :P

Distracted thoughts.

CLAT is on my head, and I cannot study. Kill me now. -_________-

I am panicking, and panicking some more. I dont know what will happen, where I will go, and its eating me up. But also something that is eating me up from inside is my friendships with people.

I have ALWAYS considered myself to be a people person, as someone who talks a lot and makes friends easily. Some who supports people when they need it, applauds when they do well, and console when life isnt that easy. But recently, I have begun to feel lonely. I dont know if I have any friends anymore, someone who stands with you whatever happens. I do have Chirag, and he means a lot, dont get me wrong, but I dont know. It just feels strange.

All my life, I have done things to be accepted. To be a part of the larger group, to always have people around me. But now when I stop and look around, I feel as if my fears are coming true, almost. I sit, and I have no one to go to, just, no one.

Other than Chirag, that is. He is one person who ALWAYS supports me, always handles me in the most perfect way ever. He is the one I can always depend on. But, I am scared of depending too much. Past and the world around has shown me, that people leave, and you are left to pick up the pieces.

Strangely, writing this makes me feel at peace.

Bazooka

And she is back.

Long overdue, arent I? :P Well, I dunno, my lazy ass doesnt want to get up and blog. I love writing, but somehow, blogging doesnt work out. Enough excuses anyway.

I saw another girl's posts today, and okay, was a little jealous, so I decided to write something myself. Shallow, but atleast I get to post. :D

So, what is on in my life? I seem to be getting closer to the time that I will be getting out of the place I've always wanted to get out of, and the thought is giving me pretty mixed emotions. Firstly, I am scare of planning ahead, when I dont even KNOW if I'll be able to go out, and where it will be. Second, I am TERRIFIED of what it will do to him and me, and though I am keeping my fingers crossed, I am as scared as him, if not more. I am completely mixed, and I dont know what to think. So I do what I know best, take it one day at a time. 

In other news, completely unrelated to me, Kasab got death penalty. Now, generally, I am completely FOR death penalty for those who cannot be redeemed, including rapists(the worst form of male domination I have ever seen), but in this case, I am much more for it. Not because I dont think he cant be redeemed, for he is just a poor brainwashed kid who was stupid enough to believe what others said, and saw it as a way for doing something with his life, but to simply establish ourselves as a "hard" country, like Israel and the like. That is my funda for avoiding terrorist attacks.

So, yes, now that I will be free more often, I think I will post more often too. I dont get ideas, but. :(